- by Dr A Chakravarthy
- 0 Shares
- Jun 23 2017
Virginity - Should I bleed the first night?
Does everyone bleed the first time? This is something that everyone wants to have clarity on but, the taboo that comes with sex makes people wonder if it’s appropriate to ask about it. So, come on let’s break the taboo and give you a clear idea about what will and should happen on the first night after your wedding.
What is virginity and who is a virgin?
A person who has not had sexual intercourse is a virgin. This term refers to women, but it should be applied to both sexes. On the first wedding night, when the husband inserts his penis in his wife’s vagina, she is supposed to bleed due to the tear of hymen which is situated at the entrance of the vagina. This is a taboo in the society. In few cases, the woman may not bleed and makes them wonder, “Why didn't I bleed the first time?” It raises a lot of question on the woman's character, and this sometimes results in unsuccessful marriages.
The most common myth is that "if she does not bleed, she is not supposed to be a virgin."
Let’s rebuke the myth
There is consistently a double standard about virginity. Those men who want their would-be-brides to be virgin are usually those men who make sure that their girlfriends do not remain virgin and they do not remain virgin. However, it is important to note that there is no sign of virginity in males or females. Tearing of hymen which causes bleeding is undoubtedly NOT a sure test of virginity. If a woman bleeds on her first wedding night, she may be a virgin, but if she does not bleed, it does not mean that she is not a virgin.
Why didn't I bleed the first time?
There are various reasons for not bleeding on the first wedding night, other than the previous intercourse. The hymen may be very lax, or it might have been torn by vigorous sports or by use of tampons during periods or my fingers. There is a saying, ‘it is difficult to prove a girl to be a virgin, and it is more difficult to determine that she is not a virgin. Purity should be in minds and not in the vagina. Both men, as well as the woman, should avoid asking each other about their previous sexual experiences after their marriage. Even if the partner insists, never tell the truth. Still, better would be to think that virginity is between two ears and not between the two thighs.
Boys also believe that having sex with a virgin girl is more pleasurable. However, this is not true. Think wearing new shoes or shirt gives you more comfort. Certainly not! Instead, new shoes can give you blisters. Some girls are afraid of bleeding and pain caused due to tear of hymen on the first wedding night. But the bleeding is not more than a few drops and pain is not more than a prick of a needle. The anticipation of pain is more disturbing than the pain itself.
There are few other reasons as well for not bleeding on the first wedding night.
- When man ignorantly tries to insert his penis at urethra or clitoris of a woman, she won’t bleed in spite of having an intact hymen.
- If the hymen is thick and tough, it would be tough to penetrate the penis. In such a case, she may need a surgical incision to cut open the hymen.
- A woman with a very lax hymen also does not bleed on the first wedding night.
- Some girls do not have perforation on the hymen and thus, the menstrual flow, instead of flowing out accumulates in the vagina. Resultantly, she suffers from pain and retention of menstrual blood. This condition is referred to as ‘haematocolpos.’ A simple surgical incision helps in getting relief from this problem.
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