- by Dr Gowher Yusuf
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- Feb 25 2017
Parents allow your children to express their feelings and share their happiness and pain
Allowing children to express their feelings and share their happiness is a very important principle in children’s upbringing. If parents successfully allow children to express their feelings, they will always come back to their parents, seeking their help with any problem. If not, then we will find that our children keep things to themselves and do not disclose any information to us. This is a serious mistake that many parents make. It creates a communication gap between children and parents. Children need to express their feelings to their parents; otherwise they will find somebody else to talk to.
For example, suppose your child comes home from school one day in a bad mood, complaining that she had a problem with some of her peers. How will you respond?
Some parents may directly respond to their child by saying, “This is not a big problem. You are a grown up girl now and you shouldn’t be worrying about these small issues,” without allowing the child to express her feelings. Do you think that this is the right way to respond?
No! I think as a parent, you should ask the child to talk about the problem. Listen to the child attentively. Then let her know that even you would have felt the same if such a thing had happened to you. Ask her if she wants you to help her solve the problem.
If yes, then suggest various ideas to deal with the problem and let her choose, with your guidance, the most suitable one. In this way you have shared her feelings, helped her analyze the problem and guided her through the pros and cons of each suggested solution. This is a valuable exercise for your child. The time you spend with her is very well spent and she will appreciate your understanding and your being with her during the difficult life situation.
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